The Duties of Parents Towards Their Children

 

For every parent, a child is a trust given by Allah. Therefore, safeguarding this trust is also among the essential duties of parents. In our country, there is not much discussion about the responsibilities of parents towards their children. However, in this present age of trials (fitnah), I believe this topic deserves the most attention.

Just as children have certain responsibilities and duties towards their parents, parents also have responsibilities and duties towards their children. Let us discuss this matter today:

1. Giving the child an Islamic name after birth:
The first and foremost responsibility of parents after the birth of a child is to give their child a beautiful, meaningful Islamic name. A person’s name has an influence on them. In Arabic, there are many beautiful names with meaningful interpretations for children, and parents can choose from them. Or they can name their children after various Prophets, Messengers, the Companions (Sahaba), and the righteous predecessors (Salaf as-Salih).

2. Raising the child in an Islamic environment after birth:
After birth, a child learns many things from their parents, other family members, and the family environment. Parents are the first teachers of a child’s life, and the family is the child’s first school. Therefore, if parents are practicing Muslims, the Islamic practices and manners they observe in daily life will influence the child. Likewise, if the family environment is Islamic, the child will grow up in an Islamic culture. Children love to imitate; they learn by observing. So, for a child to grow into an ideal Muslim in the future, the parents and the family environment must be Islamic.

3. Raising the child within an Islamic culture:
If the child is a boy, then as soon as he grows a little older, get him accustomed to wearing pajamas, panjabi (traditional long shirt), and a cap. Teach him to greet everyone with salaam regardless of age. Instruct him to respect elders and show kindness to the young.
If the child is a girl, then get her accustomed to modest dress and hijab from an early age. Teach her the distinction between mahram and non-mahram, and train her in various ways so that she grows into an ideal Muslimah in the future.

4. Setting role models from childhood:
Tell Islamic stories to children from a young age — for example, the biographies of the Prophets and Messengers in a simple, story-like manner. Share the lives, sacrifices, and devotion to Islam of the Companions, the Tabi‘een, the Tabi‘ Tabi‘een, and the pious predecessors. This way, children will accept them as role models and imagine themselves in that way as they grow.

5. The first school should be a madrasa:
When children grow older, meaning when they reach school-going age, enroll them in a madrasa. Let the madrasa be our children’s first educational institution, and let religion be their first education. In madrasas, our children can gain both religious and worldly knowledge. Remember, a child’s heart is like soft clay — if you imprint the image of faith upon it, they will hold on to it and live their whole life accordingly.

6. Keep them away from co-education:
I would request everyone to have their children study in a madrasa. However, for many parents, this may not be possible for various reasons. If that is not possible, at least let the child receive their primary education from a madrasa. Then, if you want to enroll the child in a regular school, choose one that does not have co-education. There are many schools that do not offer co-education but also ensure Islamic manners and ethics, in addition to academic studies. Send your children to such institutions. At the same time, keep a personal watch on their religious condition. If necessary, arrange for them to spend time in the company of scholars and spiritual elders. This way, they will never go astray, Insha’Allah.

7. Marry them off as soon as they reach maturity:
Many people will be shocked reading this. Some might even say, “Is this possible in today’s time?” I will say — yes, it is absolutely possible, if you want it to be.
When a child moves from childhood into adolescence, emotions arise in them like the breeze of spring. At this time, they develop various curiosities and also experience loneliness. They feel the need for “someone special” in their life — someone who belongs only to them, someone whose hand they can hold to cross seven seas and thirteen rivers, someone with whom they can get drenched in the rain, bathe in moonlight. At this stage, the need for that “someone” is very strong. But many parents do not understand this, and some pretend not to understand. They arrange marriage for their child only when marriage is no longer a necessity. This is why adultery and fornication have become easy, and marriage has become difficult in our society. Please — to save society from ultimate destruction, make marriage easy. You will see that not only will fornication disappear from society, but most social problems will also be solved.

8. Encourage children towards knowledge:
Encourage your child to pursue diverse, multi-dimensional knowledge — both religious and worldly. Tell them stories about how Muslims once led the world in knowledge and science during the Middle Ages. Explain how Muslim scholars of the past excelled in multiple fields of knowledge at the same time. This will inspire your children to develop multi-faceted learning habits like the Muslim intellectuals of the Abbasid era.

9. Discipline children with love, not with beating:
You must discipline your children. However, in our country, many parents think discipline means beating. But no — there are different forms of discipline. The best form of discipline is to draw the child close with love and gently make them understand what is good and what is bad.

Parents have many more duties towards their children, which should be fulfilled with patience and wisdom. At the end of the day, we have only one wish — may Allah bless us with children who are the comfort of our eyes. Ameen.